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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
It spreads, like fire,
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
Dear fucked society,Dear fucked up society,
Why do you take our rights?
Our human rights?
To who we love?
To who we are.. To our image?
You force images down our throat;
Images of airbrushed, false looking
people. You want people to look
more skinny and cause anorexia,
More along the hidden line that
you dig under the ground like
a dead forgotten body yet always there
You show us that its not right to be gay,
lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered..
And then wonder why the suicide rate is
so fucking high. You cause the nightmares
and terrors of our family not accepting us
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival
(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
I don't fight fair...Cut, bruised, scraped, forgotten. These things I have all been at least once in my life. But it
hasn't made me stronger, just more determined in my fight to live another day.
I know the ways of my attackers, studied their movements, learned their tricks and gleamed
their true motives. I have seen their weaknesses, their faults, theirs flaws and I have kept
them close to me, ready for use when the next time we meet.
They are cautious of me, they have weary from my adaptive ways, knowing that I can fall only
so many times. They are scared for I have the key to their defeat; not by sane ways, but by
the ways they fear to tread.
One look, one stare, one gesture and they will run in fear for the truth is upon them: "I won't
live restrained anymore."
"I have seen your errors an played on them like strings on a violin. Moved you to place were I
make the rules. Put you on display for all to see what you have done, and what will be done."
She does not have,
She has many of them.
A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.
If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.
She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.
She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
she will smile,
because she is truly happy alone.
She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
and I'm drowning
in the sky.
My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.
There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.
There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;
this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).
You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.
So what do you do?
You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
(But beauty isn’t everything)
The WaitingBones hang from trees
Hollow windchimes rattling
In the sullen breeze
Dark clouds make noonday dusk
Rusted buttons on threadbare coats
Sorrow drips like rain
(From the fingertips of this dead-rose day)
Hoofprints kill the grass
Where the dark horse steps
The rider unsmiling
The tired and ill amble about
Cattle awaiting the shoulder tap
To sleep, but not to dream
(To become whatever the second birth dictates)
Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
(and that thought gives me
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn
Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school
Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory
Kat and Jacks Drama Show 4Jackie: Er... yeah Kat, what really happened?
Kat: Well... you see.... erm.... well it's none of your business!
Ash: But I'm going to be your husband! We shouldn't keep secrets from each other!
Yuuki, San, Lucy and Lilly: WHAT!??!?!?!
Ash: Yeah my little Kitten agreed to marry me!
Yuuki: *Evil glare at Kat* What the f**k is he talking about?
Kat: I wasn't listening!! I was trying to tell Jackie that kidnapping is the worse excuse ever to give!
Ash: What? You weren't listen...ing... to... me?
*Ash looks very very very very upset*
Ash: This is feels worse then my 'Soldier Down' moment....
*Ash starts glowing a weird colour*
Kat and Jacks Drama Show 3Ash: Um well Pizza wont help take away my thirst
Yuuki: good point and you are NOT drinking from Me or San or Lily or Lucy D<
Jackie and Kat: WHAT ABOUT US?!?!?!
Yuuki: Oh ya you can do what ever to those two xD
Ash: weeeeeeeeeell I'd prefer Kat, but Jackie would do just as fine >.>
Jackie: Just fine? JUST FINE?? Am I a second prize to you?
*Ears prick you*
Jackie: Someone is in the kitchen...
Ash: I didn't mean it like that, Jackie... Er... where you going?
*Jackie walks into the kitchen and comes back dragging a figure*
San: Who the hell is that? Oh I don't care. I'm going to bed.
Yuuki: Me too. Shout if you need us.
*San and Y
Kat and Jacks Drama Show 2Yuuki: Correction Kat is not human......she is part idiot too
Lily: LOL! that's right
Ash: Hey! leave my future wife alone *blushes*
Yuuki: O: you like Kat?
Lily: Hey? San? who is Ashitaka?
Yuuki: probably her lover or something >.<
Ash: *goes after Kat*
San: COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!
Ash: *distant voice* Like i could do that, i suddenly got hungry and i need blood, Kat is most likely the only willing donor....
Yuuki: TOUCH HER YOU DIE! *stands in front of Ash*
Ash: *pushes Yuuki over* Get Out Of My Way Lil Sis
San: Ashitaka is no-one.
Lilly: Sure he is...
San: Shut it. Now.
*Kat comes running in*
Kat: Yuuki your brother is
Kat and Jacks Drama Show 1Lily: Hey!
Jackie: Hi Lilly how are you? Yuuki good to see you are your normal self.
San: Yes... how are all of you?
Lucy: Don't mind San. She's in a mood because she's tired. She's been training for ages because of Yuuki's brother.
San: Shut up!!
Lucy: And I'm in a bit of a mood because Jackie is scared of a little buzzing in her room and calls on a spirit who moved on half a year ago!
Jackie: Shut up!
Lily: I'm am good i guess Yuuki's bro came over last night and brought a few of his friends *licks lips* hehe XD i had fun
San: WHAT!!!! How come i went invited *cough* i mean how was it?
Lily: Because you a Bitch Get
To Late.You're love is toxic to me.
It all started with "Kat I love you, you know you can trust me"
Now look where i am..
After i gave you what you wanted,
Battered and bruised.
You're just like the rest.
Few slaps here, few punches there.
Your eyes used to be so caring, and clear.
Now they only hold hatred for me.
What did i do wrong.
Then you went to far.
Stabbing me with knives.
It was just to much,
I needed my freedom back.
I wanted my old life back.
But it was too late.
Just like everything else in my life.
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More